I heard that Sarah Palin belongs to a church which believes you can "Pray away the gay," i.e. pray for someone and they will change their sexual orientation. I know Jon Stewart and his team are probably having a field day with this, even as I type (Note to Jon: if you have a job vacancy, I'm available,) but the possibilities are just too delicious.
"Pray away the gray!" A cheaper, non-toxic way to color your hair!
Or--my personal favorite--"Pray Sarah Palin Gay."
Everyone reading this blog please join me in a moment of fervent prayer that Sarah Palin wakes up to her true lesbian identity. I say this not out of selfish lust--Angelina knows where she can find me--but out of love and fear for this great country of ours. With all respect to my lesbian sisters who will have to deal with her in community (and they may be the only ones who can,) I think Sarah Palin turning gay may be our last best hope for survival.
Everyone, please, close your eyes.