Tuesday, September 09, 2008

I heard that Sarah Palin belongs to a church which believes you can "Pray away the gay," i.e. pray for someone and they will change their sexual orientation. I know Jon Stewart and his team are probably having a field day with this, even as I type (Note to Jon: if you have a job vacancy, I'm available,) but the possibilities are just too delicious.

"Pray away the gray!" A cheaper, non-toxic way to color your hair!

Or--my personal favorite--"Pray Sarah Palin Gay."

Everyone reading this blog please join me in a moment of fervent prayer that Sarah Palin wakes up to her true lesbian identity. I say this not out of selfish lust--Angelina knows where she can find me--but out of love and fear for this great country of ours. With all respect to my lesbian sisters who will have to deal with her in community (and they may be the only ones who can,) I think Sarah Palin turning gay may be our last best hope for survival.

Everyone, please, close your eyes.

5 comments:

Theresa Williams said...

LOL. Thanks for the humor. I needed it.

Anonymous said...

Personally, I'm terrified to have this woman one heart beat away. If they are elected, start praying that McCain lives a very long life.

Lisa said...

I love what you wrote and I share your fear. This election is turning into a bad movie. I live in a swing state, so I think I'm going to take a couple of weeks and volunteer for Obama, trying to talk to the hunters in western Colorado into basing their presidential preference on more than a shared hobby with lil miss evil eyes.

Anonymous said...

The contest is actually more about economics in my humble opinion. Read The Shock Doctrine and you may better understand how Bill Clinton AND GW Bush both opted into the Free Trade philosophy. I am not sure Obama really plans on reversing this. He has said he is for free trade. Milton Friedman is the true evil genius behind the current mess and his Chicago Boys and he got a Nobel Prize for economics. Alan Greenspan continued the philosophy which has wreaked enormous damage and human misery throughout the world and is beginning to happen here as well. In fact, the best thing we can do is forge strong communities, look into the co housing community lifestyle and organize at a grass roots level. If Obama is who he appears to be, he is laying low, hoping to get power so he can begin to undo the damage of Friedman and Greenspan and the rest of extremist Chicago Boys and the Harvard Mafia. Granted, McCain is crazy and Palin is evil but it all comes down to money and who is going to see that wealth is redistributed. I am thinking of moving to a Democratic socialist country like Sweden to tell you the truth. We live in scary CORPORATE times, folks. Read the book, The Shock Doctrine, and then figure out how best to combat the evil that surrounds us. Joanna

Rae Hallstrom said...

I agree with Joanna. The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein explains what we are experiencing and why. The Shock Doctrine explains disaster capitalism, Milton Friedman's economic policy, and how it has been put into practice. Disaster capitalism concentrates power and wealth in a small elite, while everyone else suffers hardship and a sharp reduction in standard of living. (Argentina, Chile) Cruel policies can only become law when people are unable to resist because they are in shock, immediately following a natural disaster (tsunami, flood, drought, volcanic eruption) or violence (war, 9-11). Poison is swallowed only when people have something else more visceral to fear, when they are so distracted that they do not know what is happening.