Monday, July 07, 2008

Shame Circus is out in the world, red and squalling and dripping and howling. Lots of pushing and a little assist from C, some good comments from Ruth and Bethie and my Dad, and ouf! I'm done. For now.

I am such a super-sensitive (not in a good way) dweeb around my own creative process. On my computer I have taped a quote from the Tao: "Do your work and step back. The only path to serenity." I am trying to practice that. In a few more decades I should have it down.

In the meantime, i go through my manic-depressive cycle every time I finsih something new. It's great, it's wonderful, I want everyone to read it, send it to berkeley Rep, send it to Yale Rep, send it out! Then cold reality sets in and the opposite voice says, It sucks, don't read it, it's terrible, shit, what possessed me to spend so much time and effort on something no one in their right mind would ever want to produce?

reality lies somewhere in-between. In the meantime: back away from the computer. Back away from the computer. Step away...

I've got to water all the plants now and the garden and finish packing. We leave for Ashland bright and early for a few days vacation--have reservations booked for three plays and a river rafting trip. C developed the pictures we took on his camera and they are beautiful. As soon as he sends them to me I will post one.

We spent the 4th with Carla and her Dad--a lovely lunch and lively conversation. then Carla went in for a nap, and we went on to party with C-R and friends, old-timey folkie singers and players. lots of mandolins and lutes. then watched the fireworks from our window while Othellow with Kenneth Branaugh and Lawrence Fishbourne played. It's amazingly quiet and peaceful, lots of time and space to write and goof around. We've slowed the frantic pace of in-law renovation for a moment in order to savor the summer. Okay, packing...

1 comment:

Rae Hallstrom said...

Yes, I agree with you totally about the path to serenity, and the insecurity about creative writing.