G and I watched a Sopranos episode last night for the first time in ages and I regret to inform you all that Adrianna finally got whacked. This news will probably not come as a shock to anyone because it happened way back in Season 5, but some of us are slow in making our way through the series.

I really was sorry, because of all the characters, in some ways she grabbed me the most. She was so trapped, in her crazy relationship with christopher, in her drug habit, and by the FBI--she was like a little trapped animal. In the end she was shot in the woods.

I was thinking about the discussion we had in class Sunday night about redemption. Adrianna died "unredeemed"--that is, she never got a chance to set her messed-up life straight. Even if she and Christopher had entered the witness protection program and relocated to Utah, one can't imagine them being happy or staying out of trouble for long. She was doomed from the beginning, and she died a very sad and ignoble death.

The reason I think her story is worth watching is because she's real--at least her character's feelings, thoughts, hopes and dreams are real representations of a lot of people. She doesn't end up going to rehab, kicking Christopher out, getting her life together. She can't. Some people do transcend their circumstances, and many don't. It's fine to focus on the heros who do--they shine the light for the rest of us. But I think it's also fine to show those who don't or can't--they evoke our compassion, for them, for each other and even for ourselves. When I watch Adrianna getting beat up and still clinging to her abuser, or trying to lie and cover-up things because she knows she'll get slammed if they are discovered, I think "There but for fortune go I." If I were in her shoes, raised in her environment, would I have been able to make better choices? I doubt it.

Elsewhere in theatrical news, my nephew Eli, age 8, who has no front teeth, due to a combination of growing up and roughhousing with his older brother, called me last night, seeking sponsorship for a play he is in, about loggers and panda bears. He plays a logger. He has four lines of which three go, "We're not! We're not! We're not!" which he recited for me over the phone. He knows I can't make the show but could I please send a check because his class is going to adopt a Chinese panda bear.

I love this very small little world we live in now, where kids adopt bears half a world away (and probably track their bears' progress over the Internet.) I wrote the check and now it's today. I'm still working on cleaning our room, getting rid of debris and paperwork. Why is it so hard? At least I feel a lifting of the fog that surrounded me for the last few weeks. Tomorrow Tim and I are going to start reading actors for the radio drama based on my hot tub play.